Commitment: Promise, Co-Promise or Compromise?

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Published on Thursday, 01 September 2011 00:00

By Dana and Joy Colbert

At our marriage ceremony, we exchanged vows (promises) to each other. The process of exchanging these might well be called "co-promise"! If God is not in the center of ourpromise, we're on shaky ground.

Husbands and wives might find it difficult at times to work together. Commitment is a vital part of overcoming that difficulty. Since marriage is between two, the man and the woman need to work together. Marriages founded on self lead to compromise and will fail.

The most important part of our marriage is God. That might seem obvious, but Scripture tells us one reason why. “… a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”  Ecclesiastes 4:12b

God needs to be our midst. Whenever we live our lives by putting ourselves in first place, we're in trouble. Scripture warns us about man's dual nature of flesh and spirit, and it's wrong when the flesh is in the lead!

2 Corinthians 10:3-6

10:3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:

10:4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)

10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

10:6 And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.

We might believe we can think anything about anybody at anytime. Nobody knows it... just you and God! We can build up our own fortresses (strongholds) inside. After a while, thoughts can become words. After that, they can become deeds. Again, whenever we live our lives by putting ourselves in first place, we're in trouble.

2 Corinthians 5:18-20

5:18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;

5:19 To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.

5:20 Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God.

We are reconciled unto God though Christ. If you haven't yet surrendered your life to Him, do it now! He can transform marriages that were once founded on self, into ones based upon Him, in "co-promise". Christians are called not only to trust Christ, but also to model Christ in His "ministry of reconciliation." Serve each other, model Christ to your spouse, and to others who are watching!

A life surrendered to God will exhibit forbearance and forgiveness.

Galatians 5:15-26

5:15 But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.

5:16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.

5:17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.

5:18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.

5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are: Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

5:20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

5:21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

5:23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

5:24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.

5:25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

5:26 Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking oneanother, envying one another.

There are seventeen listed works of the flesh here, plus more besides. Are any of them evident in your life? Pray and ask the Lord to show you if you are "desirous of vain glory" (attentions and affections that won't count for anything in eternity). Ask yourself; are you "provoking one another" or "envying one another?" If you are Christ's you CAN crucify the flesh, and you WILL live and walk in the Spirit.

The Apostle Paul wrote: “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.”  Colossians 3:15

Are you grateful to the Lord for putting your spouse in your life? Consider what your life would be like without him or her. Have you considered all there is to thank God for? All things given to you are from Him, including your spouse. "Every good and perfect gift is from above". James 1:17 You are so blessed. Truly. From every breath you take to every word "fitly spoken", to any and all material possessions, to the greatest gift of all which is salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. We are all SO RICHLY BLESSED! We have no room, no reason, to grumble and complain. And yet we do. Why? Good question. Shouldn't we be content with all God provides? He is sovereign and merciful and good. Yet how many of us actually think what it really means when we gripe and complain? It's almost like we're saying, "This doesn't meet my standards, Lord." We don't like the weather - "too hot" or, “too cold". We give thanks for a meal at a restaurant, then make whiny comments about the taste, the portion, the service...when nothing is actually wrong. We gave thanks, didn't we? Do we really understand what being thankful is? Or is it easier to take everything for granted? We need to remember one thing: we're not owed. EVERYTHING we have has been provided by the Lord. A grateful heart is a happy heart! If God isn't pleased when we complain (remember the Israelites and their dissatisfaction with the manna? Numbers 11:1), how do our spouses feel when we don't show appreciation for them, or their hard work?

Husbands and wives should work together, not as individuals. Let us remember our promises we made before the Lord, to walk in the Spirit, surrendered to Him, with an attitude of gratitude.

May the Lord richly bless your marriage as you work together in the co-promise!

A Call to Prayer!

Couples, we would like to ask each of you to consider spending an extra service in prayer. In the Prayer Room, we have needs for couples who will pray and intercede for marriages during the services. Please see us for details.We would be delighted to pray along with you!